


To Be In Your Soul

by turquoisetopaz



Category: Bridgerton (TV), The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Regency, Angst, Bridgerton AU, Dancing, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Kissing in the Rain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:02:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28408935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turquoisetopaz/pseuds/turquoisetopaz
Summary: Based on the TV series Bridgerton.-Clarke Griffin needs to marry to save her family.Bellamy Blake never wants to marry.Somehow, the two find themselves entering a fake courtship.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 28
Kudos: 118





	1. Take My Hand (Wreck My Plans)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there!  
> I binged watched Bridgerton, and knew I had to write this au.
> 
> I plan this to be two chapters, three at most. 
> 
> You don’t need to have watched Bridgerton to read this fic!!
> 
> However, if you have watched the show, or read the books, I promise that I will not be including the problematic scene that shall not be named.
> 
> -

Grosvenor Square, 1813.

-

Over one year after the untimely demise of the Viscount Jake Griffin, his eldest daughter Clarke, finds herself preparing for the start of London’s social season.

She’s terrified.

“Could we not delay my coming out, just by a year?.” Clarke begs. She sits at the vanity in her dressing room, as her Mother does her hair. On a typical day, this is a job done by one of their many servants. Yet this was not a typical day for Clarke. Today was the first time she would attend a ball as a woman who was available for marriage. In preparation for this day, her Mother had insisted on being the one to ready her for the festivities.

“Of course not.” Huffs the Viscountess Abigail Griffin “Don’t be absurd. You are old enough to marry; and the sooner you find a husband, the better.”

Clarke groans in frustration at her Mothers reply “Why ever not? Roma’s Mother has allowed her to delay for another season? Why must I be forced so soon into marriage?.”

“Roma’s Mother is a damn fool.” Abby mutters darkly.

“Mother!” Gasps Clarke, confused by her Mother’s words, Abigail Griffin was nothing if not polite.

“Sit with me Clarke.” Her Mother requests, gesturing to the nearby sofa.

As Clarke joins her Mother, she feels a pit of dread in her stomach, as though she knows exactly what the older woman is about to say.

Abby takes her daughters hand, and draws in a deep breath “Clarke, do you remember Lord Edwin?.”

An unladylike scowl forms on Clarke’s face; of course she remembered that awful man. Lord Edwin was her Father’s cousin, as well as his apparent heir. Her Father had only had daughters, therefore upon his death, Lord Edwin had been the one to inherit everything her Father owned. “He’s the owner of our home.” Clarke replies, sourly.

“Lord Edwin has been very kind to allow us to remain here.” Abby replies calmly “But the manor does belong to him, and he is under no obligation to support us. Yesterday he wrote to me, to inform me that he intends to make this his family home.”

“He’s evicting us?!” Cries Clarke.

“Not yet. He is still unmarried as you know. Once he has found a wife, the two shall settle here. He has promised us that we can remain here for the next year, but after that, we shall be on our own.”

“How dare he?! This is our family home. This is where you and Father raised us!.”

Clarke feels positively sick to her stomach at the thought of some distant relative of hers taking away the place she was born. Griffin Manor had been in her family for generations, she couldn’t imagine it belonging to anyone else.

“This is the way of the world.” Replies her Mother wearily. I never gave your Father a son, so we are to lose our home.”

“It is absurd!” Clarke scowls, beyond angry at the society she was born into.

Her Mother had brought three daughters into the world. Clarke was the eldest, her sister Harper was only a year younger than her, and the youngest of the family, Charlotte, was a mere 12 years old. Clarke despaired at the thought of her much beloved family forced to live in poverty. 

“There must be something we can do.” Insists Clarke.

“Oh my dear, you are the only one who can save us now.” Abby sighs forlornly “I wish I did not have to put this weight on your shoulders, but the fate of our family is now up to you. As the eldest child, society dictates that you must be the first to marry. If you secure a husband of good fortune, then there will be someone who will take your sisters and I in, once we lose our home.”

“So that is why you want me to marry a soon as possible.” Clarke realises.

“Yes my child, I am truly sorry, but you are your Father’s eldest child; our fate, is now in your hands.

-

“I am so sorry Clarke.” Says Lord Wells Jaha, her oldest and dearest friend “I cannot begin to imagine-“

“Of course you can’t imagine.” Clarke interrupts in a harsh voice “You are a man, a first born son, this would never happen to you.”

The two of them dance around the ballroom, and Clarke winces as Wells stumbles at the sound of her words. 

“I’m sorry.” She automatically says; Wells has been her friend since infancy, she hates to see him even slightly upset.

“You’re not wrong.” He replies “This would never happen to me. I’m sorry society is so unfair Clarke.”

Clarke squeezes his hand as a sign of friendship “It is not for you to worry about.”

“That doesn’t stop me from wishing there was something I could do to help.”

“Well I suppose you’ll just have to marry me.” Clarke smirks, not managing to keep an even slightly straight face.

The two burst out laughing at the idea. It was an absurd remark for two reasons. The first was that the two had been raised together, their family’s were firm friends, and Clarke saw Wells as the brother she’d never had. The second was that Wells was engaged, to one of Clarke’s dearest friends. Raven and Wells were a perfect match, and were set to wed any day now. 

“Sorry Clarke, but I imagine that my fiancée would object to that.”

“I suppose she would.” Grins Clarke. She wants to add on that Raven was more her type anyway, but doesn’t due to the older, judgmental ladies gossiping a few mere metres from them.

“I really am sorry Clarke. I beg that you don’t worry too much, even if you are forced out of Griffin Manor, know that you and your family will never be on the streets. My home will always be open to you.”

“I know” Clarke smiles sadly at him “But I don’t think my Mother’s pride could survive it. To maintain our social standing, I need to marry soon. And preferably I need to marry a man rich enough to buy Griffin Manor from my Father’s cousin.”

“Well Clarke,” Her friend sighs “I wish you luck.”

-

The ball is as dull as the men who attend it. Clarke dances with every eligible man in the room, and finds she has never been as bored in her life.

She does not meet a man who possesses a single interesting thought, and it makes her despair. For all her parents faults, there was one thing Clarke had always been certain of, the two of them loved each other. Her Mother and Father had been completely devoted to one another. Clarke could not imagine marrying someone she did not love, yet she did not even like any of the men she had not danced with.

The worst of them all was Lord Wick. He had insisted that Clarke call him by his first name, Kyle, which Clarke found to be completely improper. His hands had wandered far too much during the dance they shared. His breath was as repulsive as his hands were sweaty. And worst of all he seemed to constantly spout uninspired and misogynistic ideas.

Clarke loathed him.

After 12 disastrous dances, Clarke had resolved to spend the rest of the night dancing with Wells, Harper, or Raven. They were the only people her age, in attendance, that she could tolerate. 

But before she could steal away to her sister, she saw that Wick was following her across the dance floor. If she were to dance with the man twice in one evening, rumours of the two would begin to circulate.

Clarke’s eyes darted across the room, until she came across a young man, stood all alone. He was ridiculously, unfairly handsome. But that wasn’t what called him to her; it was his eyes. They were a deep dark brown, and Clarke would swear to anyone that asked that she saw kindness in them.

“Dance with me.” She insists, once she reaches the handsome strangers. Normally she’d be too embarrassed to even approach him, but Wick was too near, and desperate times called for desperate measures.

For a moment she fears he’ll say no. But fortunately he simply bows in front of her and offers a sly grin “Lead the way princess.”

-

Once the two are on the dance floor, and beginning to waltz, Clarke finally relaxes.

“Thank you.” She smiles sincerely. “You saved me from a rather uncomfortable situation there.”

“It’s no problem Princess. Besides, you didn’t exactly leave me room to say no.”

Clarke’s cheeks burn red at this. She chooses to ignore his teasing and instead replies “I’m not actually a Princess. Not even close. My name is Lady Griffin. What was yours?.”

“Bellamy Blake, but technically I am the Duke of Hastings”.

She had not thought it possible for her cheeks to get any redder, yet Clarke is overcome with embarrassment as she realises what she has done. She has made a complete fool out of herself in front of a Duke. And if her information is correct, a rather rich and powerful one.

“Please forgive me your grace. I have been unforgivably rude.”

The Duke snorts at this “Please don’t call me that; it is not a title I appreciate.”

“It would be improper for me to call you anything else, your grace.” Clarke points out sternly.

“Well I’ll allow you to call me Bellamy if you tell  
me your first name.” 

Clarke pauses for only a brief moment before giving in. His voice is husky and borders on hypnotic; she can’t bring herself to say no. “My name is Clarke.”

“Nice to meet you Clarke.” He murmurs, and Clarke feels the sudden, foreign, urge to swoon.

Bellamy was stupidly attractive. He towered over her, with his tall and muscular body. He was tanned, with dark hair and darker eyes to match. He had so many freckles on his face; Clarke felt a stupidly strong urge to trace them with her fingertips. She thought him beautiful in a way she’d never thought of a man to be.

Clarke has heard many rumours about the Duke, but had no idea he’d be hear tonight. His appearance must’ve been a well kept secret, as she’d not heard whispers from the young marriage ready girls in attendance.

“‘It’s nice to meet you too... Bellamy.”

-

Bellamy was thoroughly amused by the tiny blonde he was dancing with.

All night, he’d been approached by meddlesome Mothers, desperate to get him to take an interest in their meek daughters. Clarke was the only girl who’d come to up him alone. And to his immense pleasure, she’d done it without realising his title.

The girl was clearly using him as a way to avoid someone, and he was very much enjoying it.

“So Clarke,” He smirks at her “Do I get to know what uncomfortable situation I saved you from?” 

“I’m not sure it’s any of your business, your grace.”

“Bellamy.” He insists. He’d only heard her say his name once and he had enjoyed it, he longed to hear her say it again.

“It’s not your business, Bellamy.” She says haughtily. She’s clearly trying to get him to change the subject, but all he can do is grin at the sound of her saying his name.

“You made it my business when you made me an accomplice in whatever it is you’re planning.” 

Clarke scowls at this, which only serves to make Bellamy’s smile grown. He found that he liked getting under this girls skin.

“Are you a friend of Lord Wick?.”

“I know the man, but I am certainly not his friend. He’s a weasel.”

“Well that weasel has been following me around all night. It was either dance with you or with him.”

“Well I’m flattered you chose me.” He replies, trying to keep his voice light. Inside he’s seething; he didn’t know this girl, yet he was certain she was far too good for Kyle.

“Don’t be too flattered.” She teases “It was a difficult decision, you won by only a small margin.”

“I shall still count it as a victory.” He winks at her, trying not to get too giddy as she blushes at his action.

Before he can continue the conversation, the song comes to an end. Clarke looks round the room, and upon seeing that Kyle is no where to be seen, she lets go of Bellamy’s hands.

“Thank you for the dance, your grace” She smiles demurely, and Bellamy is once again disappointed to not hear his name come from her lips. Clarke curtesy’s gracefully, before heading off towards the door.

Everything in Bellamy screams at him to follow her. She’s by far the most interesting person he’s met all night, as well as the most beautiful. Yet he forces himself to remain in the same spot. Clarke might not be the same as every other simpering girl at the ball, but she will still have to one day marry. She needs to find a man not like him, one that is truly eligible.

Bellamy may like Clarke; but he could never marry her.

-

Clarke walks in the gardens alone, in desperate need of fresh air.

She knows it’s a foolish move, she could easily find herself in danger, but she doesn’t care. It’s been a rather long night, and she needs time to think.

She’s rather certain that everyone will be talking about her dance with the Duke. Her Mother will be furious if she finds out that Clarke walked away without angling for a second. But Clarke is not bothered; she’s heard stories about the Duke, he apparently has sworn off the idea of marriage, and therefore would have no interest in her.

The idea of this disappoints Clarke more than she’d like to admit. Bellamy truly was the most marriage worthy man she’d met all night. It wasn’t just because he was handsome - although he certainly was - but unlike every other man she’d met that night, he seemed to be in possession of an interesting personality.

Her musings are interrupted by a voice she’d hoped to not hear for the rest of the night. “Lady Griffin!” Calls Lord Wick “What are you doing out here?. Are you alright?.”

“I needed fresh air.” She replies politely “I am perfectly fine.”

“Well then let me escort you back inside.” He pleads “It is not safe out here.”

“Whilst that is a kind offer my Lord, I am afraid that may have a negative affect on my reputation. I would ask that you leave me be.” Clarke does her best to remain calm, but she can feel panic bubbling inside her. If anyone were to see her alone with a man, she would surely be ruined.

“I wouldn’t worry about that.” He smirks “We’ll be married soon enough.”

“I beg your pardon?!” 

“I plan to ask your Mother tomorrow. I believe you and I are well suited for each other.”

“And i believe you are wrong.” Scowls Clarke. How stupid could a man be? The two had danced together once, and there had been not even a slight connection there. Clarke would never dream of marrying him.

“It does not matter what you believe.” He laughs, as he steps closer to her “Everyone knows your Mother is desperate to marry you off. She’ll have no choice but to agree to our union. After all, your fool of a dead Father has left your family with nothing.”

The mention of her Father causes Clarke to snap, she detested Lord Wick anyway, but he’d gone too far with that remark. Before he can say anything else, Clarke punches him squarely in the jaw, and watches as he falls to the ground.

Her moment of satisfaction goes as quickly as it came. That punch could easily ruin her entire family! Clarke is filled with panic, and she looks round the garden in fear that she’d been seen.

Her fear comes true when her eyes land on the Duke of Hastings himself.

“Your grace.” She whispers upon seeing him.

“Clarke.” He replies, worry in his voice “Are you alright?”

Fear seizes Clarke as she looks at him. Instead of answering him properly, she shakes her head in horror, before turning on her heels.

Before he can stop her; she runs. 

-

Bellamy watches the Lady Griffin run away with a mixture of shock and amusement.

He’d never seen a lady with such an impressive right hook.

Whilst he should probably be horrified at the display, it has only served to intensify his desire to kiss her. It takes everything in him to not chase after her.

He’s not exactly sure what Lord Wick had said or done to Clarke, but he’s sure that the vile man deserved the soon to be black eye Clarke had given him. He’d known Kyle for a long time, and had always disliked the sleazy man. 

“Marry me Clarke.” Groans Kyle suddenly, rolling onto his back.

Bellamy can’t help but snort at this. The idiot was clearly very drunk “How romantic.”

“Ah Hastings!” The drunk man cheers “When did you arrive.”

“I arrived just in time to watch you get the life knocked out of you by the lovely Lady Griffin.” Bellamy smirks “And never call me Hastings again.” He adds, resisting the urge to pummel the stupid man.

“It was a misunderstanding. Clarke is to be my bride, you see.”

That enrages Bellamy to know end. He forces Kyle to stand up, holding him by the collar. “Listen to me, and listen closely. You are never to go near Lady Griffin again. She is far too good for a man like you. If you dare approach her, then all of society shall be made aware of the fact that you were beaten up by a mere slip of a girl. Is that understood?.”

“No one would believe you!” Cries Kyle, going white as a sheet in panic.

“Of course they will. I am a Duke, my word means a whole lot more than yours does Wick. So I will ask you again, do you understand?.”

Kyle nods his head quickly “Yes, we do. Apology’s... Blake.”

As Kyle scampers away, Bellamy can’t help but laugh. Perhaps some good had come of him attending the ball.

-

“Lady Griffin did what?!” Octavia screeches.

“Punched him right in the face.” Bellamy grins, enjoying recounting the tale to his favourite person. His sister was the only person in London who he could stand, and she was packing to leave. He was dreading it.

“Well now I wish I would’ve gone to the ball.” She sighs in disappointment “I would’ve paid good money to see that.”

“Trust me it was the only good part of the night. The rest of it was dreadful. I spent the whole time dodging these awful Mothers who insisted on forcing their daughters company on me.”

“That, dear brother, is because you are London’s most eligible bachelor.” His sister grins “It will be like this all season, every Mother is going to want you to dance with the daughter.”

“Don’t say that.” Bellamy groans “And you’re sure you won’t stay to protect me?.”

“You know I detest London.” His sister sighs “I have no good memories here, everyone in society talks and gossips about me; I don’t fit in here Bell.”

“Neither do I.”

“Then come to New York with Lincoln and I. You’ll have a much better time.”

“I will once I’ve concluded my business here in London.” He promises his little sister. 

“Perhaps you’ll join us in New York with a new bride.” She grins “Maybe the Lady Griffin?.”

“Be serious Octavia. Clarke may have an impressive right hook, but you know that nothing will change my mind. I won’t be marrying, not now, not ever.”

“Oh Bell,” She sighs “I do wish you’d change your mind. You deserve to be happy, big brother.”

“I am happy, knowing that I will fulfil the vow I made to Father. Do not worry about me.”

Before Octavia can reply, they are interrupted by a maid “My Lady?” The young girl addresses Octavia “Your carriage has arrived.”

“I’m ready.” She replies, kissing Bellamy on the cheek before heading towards the door. She turns before leaving and smiles sadly at him “You know, I’m not sure I’ll ever get use to people calling me a Lady.”

Bellamy’s heart hurts at this, the way his sister was raised makes him so angry “You’ll get used to it one day, I promise.”

“Goodbye Bell.”

“Safe travels O.”

-

The day after the ball, Clarke sits in her drawing room in despair.

She’s only received three visitors.

Two of them were men old enough to be her Father, the other was a young Lord with a dull personality, who had cringed upon the realisation that he would receive no dowry if he were to marry her.

It was a disaster.

“Oh Harper, what am I do?.” Clarke moans, looking to her sister for advice.

Harper sits on the sofa with needlework in her hand; she looks every inch the Lady. Clarke wished she was the eldest, as surely Harper would attract far more suitors than Clarke has.

“Do not worry sweet sister.” Smiles Harper reassuringly “Men don’t always want to appear to eager, I’m sure more shall visit over the next few days.”

“I doubt it.”

“Lady Griffin, you have another caller.” Announces a servant.

Clarke sits up in shock; it wasn’t particularly proper for men to call so late in the evening. She turns to Harper who shoots her an I-told-you-so look. 

“May I present to you, the Duke of Hastings.”

Both Clarke and Harper stand up to greet him with a curtsey, as that was what was expected of them. Bellamy looks clearly uncomfortable with the display, which Clarke does her best not to laugh at.

“A pleasure to see you again your grace.” Clarke smiles, “May I introduce you to my sister? Lady Harper Griffin.”

“Pleased to meet you.” Bellamy bows.

“And you, your grace,” Harper replies “I imagine you are here to see my sister, so I shall leave you two alone.”

Clarke desperately wants her sister to stay. The last time she saw Bellamy was moments only after she’d punched Lord Wick. She was too embarrassed to look him in the eye.

“I believe it is improper for us to be alone together without a chaperone present.” Clarke points out “I think it best for you to wait outside till my Mother joins us.”

“It was your Mother who let me in.” Bellamy smirks. Clarke sighs in frustration at this; of course her Mother was happy to leave her alone with a Duke.

“Your grace, might I ask why you are here? Everyone in London knows you are against marriage. So you’re clearly not here to try and court me.”

“I just wanted to check to see how your hand was.” He replies, having the audacity to actually wink at her. How dare he?!. 

Luckily for Clarke, gloves were in fashion, and so he could not see the dark bruises that had formed on her knuckles. “My hand is perfectly fine thank you. Anything else?.”

“What happened that night?” He asks, sounding suddenly serious “Did Wick lay a hand on you?.”

“No!” Clarke insists “He did not. He merely said some rather unkind comments regarding my family that I did not appreciate. I swear nothing improper happened.”

“I don’t give a damn about propriety! I was just worried about you, Wick is a complete idiot, and clearly forgets boundaries when he’s drunk. I wanted to make sure he hadn’t tried to harm you.”

“I promise you he didn’t.”

“Good.” He nods, and Clarke feels warm at the thought of him worrying over her. “And you need not fear Lord Wick, I took care of it for you.”

“What does that mean?!” Clarke panics.

“I didn’t harm him, calm down. I merely informed him that if he wishes to avoid making an enemy of me, that he must never speak to you again.”

“You did what?!”

“You’re welcome.”

“You shouldn’t have done that!.”

Bellamy scoffs at this “Why not? He’s an imbecile, and it’s not as though you were going to accept his proposal.”

Clarke goes queasy at this. Last night the thought of marrying Wick sounded ridiculous to her. But now she realised he was potentially the only suitable man who had shown interest in her.

“I might.”

“You cannot be serious?! He’s not good enough for you.” Bellamy sounds angry, which Clarke cannot understand.

“Yes well I don’t have many men lining up to ask for my hand.”

“That does surprise me.”

“I am not in the mood to be mocked, your grace.”

“I do not mock you.” He replies. He sounds so sincere that Clarke feels butterflies arise in her stomach.

“Oh, well thank you, I guess.”

“Can I ask why?.”

“Why, what?.”

“Why every eligible man wanting to marry are too foolish to realise you’d make a perfect wife?.”

Clarke can’t help but blush at this “So the rumours are true, the Duke of Hastings is a rake?.”

“I am nothing of the sort, it’s an honest question.”

After appraising him for a moment, Clarke sits on the sofa and gestures for him to do the same. He was definitely not interested in her hand, so she did not see the point in standing on ceremony.

“My Father is dead, the owner of this house, Lord Edwin, will not be providing my with a dowry. All I have is my name; therefore most men do not see me as a suitable match. After all, there are plenty of girls in London who are titled, beautiful and in the possession of a large dowry.”

“That is ridiculous.” Bellamy scowls “You’re clearly beautiful and smart, what more do these men want?.”

Clarke really isn’t sure how to react to this. Bellamy was not like any high born man she’d ever met. He was blunt, and had no patience for societal etiquette. 

She liked him.

“You’re rather unusual, do you realise that, your grace?.”

Bellamy quirks his eyebrow up at that. “I believe you’re the first person, other than my sister, to tell me that to my face. And for the love of god, please do call me Bellamy. I have never, and will never, think of myself as a Duke.”

“My apologies, Bellamy.” 

“That’s better.”

“And whilst I am appreciative that you wanted to help me with Lord Wick, I must ask that you do nothing of the sort ever again. It is important that I end the season with a husband .”

“Once again, I must ask why?.”

A laugh escapes Clarke’s lips “You’re rather nosy.”

“I am. And I can’t understand why you’re in such a rush to marry. You’re still young, and most women don’t marry during their first season. Why don’t you hold out until you find a man who’s not a complete idiot?.”

“I wish I could. But I’m afraid I don’t have the luxury. Lord Edwin is set to evict us from the Manor, and I need to marry so that my family and I are not on the street.” Normally Clarke would feel embarrassed to reveal this information to someone she’d met only twice. But she had a good feeling about Bellamy; she was certain he would not judge her.

“I’m truly sorry to hear that, Clarke.” He says, voice deep and sincere “I hate how unfair society is towards women, this house should be yours, it makes no sense for it to go to a distant relative of your Fathers.”

Clarke can’t help but grin at his words; she definitely liked him for to that.

“Well,” She shrugs “That is the way of our world, for now at least. And I am determined to marry so that I can protect my family.”

“I admire that.” He smiles at her.

There’s a comfortable moment of silence between the two, as Bellamy looks at the ground, seeming to be having intense thoughts “Clarke,” He begins slowly “What if I could help you with your issue?.”

Clarke furrows her eyebrows in confusion “And how exactly would you do that?.”

“Allow me to court you.”

At this, Clarke let’s out a very unladylike snort. “Bellamy, everyone knows you don’t wish to marry. You’ve said it yourself. Why on earth would you wish to court me?.”

“Because men always want what they can’t have. And when you are seen to be desired by me, you will find yourself with more suitors than you know what to do with. If a Duke seems to be interested in you, it will make men take notice. They’ll see everything good about you, and you shall find an advantageous match.”

His logic made sense to her, but she was still confused by the offer “And what benefits will you receive from this arrangement?.”

“Peace and bloody quiet.” He smiles “If the pushy Mothers of society believe that I have already found my Duchess, then they shall leave me alone. And I shall be free to conduct my business in peace. Our arrangement will end once I am finished with London, and you have a bevy of suitors at your disposal.”

“You’re mad.”

“I’m rather brilliant, and you know it.” He says, once again shooting her a rakish wink. “What do you say Clarke.”

Clarke takes a deep breath and looks him in the eye. For reasons she cannot explain, she trusts him. “I say, let’s do this.”


	2. Your Heart Was Glass (I Dropped It)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More balls, more banter and the arrival of a Prince.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey there! 
> 
> two chapters in two days?! wild 
> 
> I’m really enjoying writing this fic, so please enjoy an early update

“Eight balls” 

“Four balls.”

“Eight balls!.”

“Not a chance.”

“Six balls, and flowers. Expensive ones.” Insists Clarke, as she walks through the park with Bellamy by her side (and her Mother closely following behind). 

“What on earth do you need flowers for?.” Questions Bellamy.

“If you were truly courting me, then you would send me an expensive bouquet every day.”

“If I were truly courting you I would have already pushed you up against the nearest tree and had my way with you.”

Bellamy looks guilt ridden instantly. Clarke herself is rather amused at his comment (if only slightly flustered). She decides to take advantage of his state “Six balls and a bouquet of red roses, understood?”

“Understood.”

“Now,” Clarke says, straightening up and plastering on her fakest smile. “Let us walk past that group over there, at least one of those men must be agreeable.”

“I imagine they’re all perfectly dull, but whatever you want, Princess.”

The two slowly make their way past a group of gentlemen playing a round of cricket. Clarke notices how every single one of them turns to stare at her. It should thrill her, yet she feels nothing.

“What’s that face for Princess?.”

“Were your parents in love, Bellamy?.”

Her question causes him to seize up, and go positively pale. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

“I should ask that you never mention my parents again, understood?.”

“Of course” She winces “I only ask because, well, mine were utterly devoted to each other.”

“That must have been nice.” He murmurs.

“It was, I liked seeing the two of them be so happy together. But the more suitors I meet, the more afraid I am that I’ll never have what they had.”

“You want to marry for love?” Bellamy asks, looking surprised.

“Doesn’t everyone? I know it’s foolish, after all, what I need in a husband is money, not devotion. But it would be nice to marry someone who I at least like, even just a little bit. My parents hardly knew each other before marriage, but they fell in love after. That’s all I want, just the chance at love.”

“I’m sure you’ll get it.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

The conversation is interrupted by a familiar voice, that causes a wide grin to spread across Clarke’s face.

“Clarke?” Wells calls to her “Wait a moment.”

“Wells! What are you doing here?”

“Waiting for Raven, she should be here any moment. What are you doing?.” He asks her, wearily eyeing Bellamy.

“This is the Duke Of Hastings, he has kindly offered to accompany me for a walk.”

“I’m well aware of who Blake is.” Frowns Wells “I didn’t realise you were in town?.”

“It’s good to see you too old friend.” Bellamy smirks.

Clarke looks between them in confusion. “Are you two friends?.”

“Yes.” Nods Bellamy.

“No.” Insists Wells, at the exact same moment.

“We knew each other at university, and frequented in the same circles.” Bellamy explains to Clarke, before turning to Wells and grabbing his chest in a dramatic motion. “You truly wound me Jaha, you deny our friendship?.”

“That depends on what you’re doing with Clarke.” Scowls Wells.

“Wells!.” Clarke chides, shocked by his behaviour. Her friend was always the perfect gentlemen.

“I didn’t realise this was your Clarke.” Bellamy says, sounding almost apologetic.

“Excuse me?.” Clarke frowns.

“Wells mentioned his friend Clarke to me often. I just didn’t realise you were her.”

“Well I am her, and why is that a problem?.”

“Because he’s a damn rake!” Mutters Wells.

“Say that a little louder to me, Jaha.” Bellamy says threateningly. 

“Both of you stop!” Snaps Clarke, “I don’t want a scene. Leave us be Wells, we can discuss this matter in private another day.”

Her friend nods in acceptance, before turning to Bellamy “Blake, I expect to see you at the old club tonight.”

Bellamy chuckles darkly at this “Oh, you can count on it.”

-

“I always knew you were a rake, but I never thought you were capable of such cruelty.” Accuses Wells, as he dodges a hit from Bellamy.

The two had met at the boxing ring they frequented when the were younger. Both were circling each other, preparing to strike. Boxing seemed to be the safest way to have out their argument.

“And how exactly am I being cruel?.” Bellamy questions, not liking Wells’ tone. He was happy to see his old friend, but he wouldn’t stand for his interference and judgment.

“You’re clearly giving Clarke false hope! You have no intention of marrying, meaning you have no reason to court her. All you’re doing is distracting her from finding herself a suitable husband.”

“And I wouldn’t make a suitable husband?.” Hisses Bellamy, as he plants a solid hit on Wells’ jaw.

“Does my answer to that question even matter?” Huffs Wells “You will never be a husband.”

Whilst that may be true, Bellamy was angered at the idea that he wasn’t good enough for Clarke. He could admit she was potentially too good for any man, but had he been born into a life where marriage was a possibility for him, he was certain that he’d have done anything to make her happy.

“It’s been two years since you’ve seen me Jaha, perhaps I’ve charged.”

Wells manages to get a punch in as Bellamy speaks “I know for a fact that you haven’t. Which is why I’m confused? Why are you doing this to Clarke?.”

“I’m not doing anything to her. She’s a mature adult, she can decide who she wants to spend her time with. Don’t be jealous she’s spending it with me.”

At this, Wells lets out a snort of laughter “Trust me it’s not jealousy. I’m in love with Raven. But Clarke is practically my sister. Before her Father died, he asked me to look out for her. That’s all I’m doing.”

For reasons Bellamy would not like to think about, he feels relieved to hear that Clarke and Wells had nothing more than a platonic relationships. The idea of him being in love with her made Bellamy rather uncomfortable.

“Look Wells,” Bellamy sighs, holding up his hands in surrender “I swear to you that I’m not going to hurt Clarke. I need you to trust me on this one. For old times sake?.”

Wells calmly assesses his friend, before offering his hand out in a truce “Fine, for old times sake,” As the two shake hands, Bellamy feels Wells tighten his grip “But I promise you Blake, if you hurt her...”

“If I hurt Clarke, I’ll be the one to bring you a gun.”

Wells laughs, and for a moment; it feels like nothings changed.

-

“Do I want to know what happened to your hand?.” Clarke asks, as she sits in the drawing room with Bellamy.

“Boxing.” He replies, looking uncomfortable as she asks.

“Is it odd to say I’m jealous?”

“Of my bruised knuckles?.”

“Of your ability to box. It looks thrilling. I’d love to learn.” 

“You’re serious.?” Bellamy laughs, raising a single eyebrow in amusement.

“Don’t mock. I might have a decent punch, but I could certainly learn more. It is terribly unfair that women are forbidden from doing anything mildly fun. I am not allowed to be seen playing sport, running around, or even riding my horse in any way other than sidesaddle.” 

“Those are things you want to do?.” He asks.

“Very much so.”

“Well,” He muses “If I were to teach you to box, your Mother would undoubtedly have me disappear forever from this Earth.”

Clarke interrupts with a snort of laughter, which bring a wide smile to Bellamy’s face.

“I don’t believe there are any sports we could play with just the two of us. But riding astride? I think we could do that?.”

“Really?” Clarke exclaims “You’d show me.”

“It’s not hard, I’m sure you’re a quick learner. If you’re chaperone would escort us, we could go to my estate, I have a lot of land, and several horses.”

Clarke offers Bellamy a blinding smile and jumps out of her seat “Let’s go.”

When they reach Bellamy’s home, Clarke is undoubtedly excited. Her Mother had insisted that Clarke only ever ride her horse sidesaddle, which was uncomfortable and dull. 

“I just realised.” She groans “I need breeches if we are to do this.”

Bellamy calls a servant over “Could you please escort the Lady Griffin to my sisters room, and find a suitable pair of breeches for her to borrow. I’ll ready the horses.”

When Clarke finds Bellamy at the stables, she is mildly embarrassed to be wearing trousers in front of him. Especially since his sister must be a lot smaller than her, as they run rather tight. When he spots her, his eyes go dark, and an emotion plays in them that she can’t quite name.

“Are you ready?” He asks, voice sounding strangely husky.

“I am.” She smiles, walking up to the horse Bellamy stands near.

“I was thinking we could ride on the same horse?.”

This makes Clarke hesitate. Her chaperone is inside, and the grounds are empty, so it’s unlikely they would be seen by anyone.

She nods her head nervously. Bellamy takes her hand and helps her to get on the large stead. Her hand burns at the contact. He gets up on after her, and she shivers once he wraps his hands around her waist.

It’s almost too much to bear.

“You alright Princess?” He murmurs, lips close to her ears.

“Yes.” She breathes out, heart stuttering. She’s never been so close to a man before, especially one like Bellamy. 

“You ready?” 

“Let’s go.”

Bellamy taps the horse and they begin to move. Riding astride a horse feels so different to sidesaddle, but she already knows she prefers it. 

The horse speeds up upon Bellamy’s command, and Clarke feels the wind begin to run through her hair. As the horse goes faster and faster, she begins to feel like she’s flying.

It’s beyond exhilarating. Her body is encompassed by Bellamy’s. His hot breath dances across her neck. The wind whips her hair out of its updo and stings so much that here eyes water, but she didn’t mind.

With Bellamy so close, she’d never felt more alive.  
-

“Will your Duke be at this ball?.” Charlotte asks, twirling round the room whilst her sister readies herself.

“He’s not my Duke.” Insists Clarke.

“I’ve heard differently.” Harper grins, causing Charlotte to squeal in excitement.

“Oh Harper! How exciting will it be for us to have a brother?!.”

“It shall be wonderful!.”

“Can you two stop?” Clarke huffs “The Duke is a good man, but he is unlikely to propose to me. So don’t go looking for bridesmaid dresses just yet.”

“But look at the flowers he has sent you!” Charlotte whines, gesturing to the insanely expensive bouquet Bellamy had sent her this morning.

“And think about how he looks at you when the two of you dance together!.”

“Do they look romantic together?!”

“Very much so.” Grins Harper.

“That is enough girls!” Abby scolds upon entering the room “Leave your sister be.”

As her sisters leave the room, Clarke offers her Mother a grateful smile “Thank you. They’ve been like this all day.”

“They’re just excited. After all, rumours of you and the Duke have been all over London.”

Clarke feels guilty at this. She doesn’t want to give her Mother any false hope. “Well the Duke isn’t my only suitor, so they needn’t get too excited”

“Clarke you must admit he would be your best match.”

“Because he’s so rich?”

“No.” Abby scoffs “Because I happen to believe that reformed rakes make the best husbands.”

Her Mother smiles fondly as she thinks about her late husband. Clarke does her best not to tear up. She misses her Father ever so much, and hates to see her Mother look so lonely.

“I would marry him,” Clarke whispers, feeling odd at the realisation that she was being completely honest “But he won’t ask me to, he never will.”

“You believe that?.”

“I know he won’t Mother.”

Abby kisses the crown of her daughters head “Well then he’s a damn fool. And given how many visitors came for you this morning, I say you ought to not think about the Duke. You’ll find someone to love Clarke, I promise.”

An image of Bellamy flashes in her head, and Clarke feels her heart sink at the idea of ending their ‘courtship’ upon her finding a fiancé.

“Maybe. Maybe I will.”

-

“You look lovely.” Bellamy tells Clarke, as he spins her across the dance floor.

Clarke scoffs in an unladylike manner. He can’t help but smile; she often does things that remind him of Octavia. He wishes the two would meet.

“Don’t be ridiculous. And don’t waste your fake compliments when there is no one else around to hear them.”

Bellamy scowls at this. He gets the feeling that Clarke didn’t have a particularly high opinion of herself, and he hated it. She was the most brilliant woman he had ever met, and she didn’t even realise her own value.

“I assure you my compliment was not fake.” He insists, staring deep into her eyes in hopes that she’d see his sincerity “You look beautiful Clarke; you always do.”

A light pink blush spreads across her pale cheeks and Bellamy feels satisfied with himself. Her lips form a soft smile, and he once again feels the urge to kiss her. In fact, more often than not, Bellamy found himself thinking about kissing Clarke.

It was a damn inconvenience.

“Well thank you Bellamy. You look very handsome tonight.” Clarke tells him with total confidence. It wasn’t usual for a Lady to openly comment on a gentleman’s appearance, he liked hearing her do it.

“Brave Princess.”

“Speaking of royalty, have you heard who will be in attendance tonight?.”

“You know I don’t care for those things Clarke.”

“Well neither do I really, but for husband finding purposes apparently I must.”

“So who is here that interests you?.”

“The Prince of Sweden. Apparently he is young, handsome, and in need of a wife.”

“He’s also a complete idiot.” Bellamy points out. He’s met Prince Finn on several occasions, and found the man to be extremely foolish. He had all these grand ideas for his country, and had not a clue on how to enact them.

“You know him?”

“Unfortunately I do. I spent a few months in Sweden and had the displeasure of his company.”

“He can’t be too bad.”

“He can and he is. Trust me Clarke, you don’t want to marry him.” Bellamy tells her, trying to ignore the feelings of jealously he knew were building up inside him.

“It’s not a matter of want for me anymore and you know it Bell.”

At this, Bellamy feels himself go still. The only people to ever call him ‘Bell’ were Octavia and his Mother. If anyone else had tried, he would probably have given them a black eye. But with Clarke, it felt different. He found that he liked it. It made him feel like he was cared for, by her. It made him feel like she was his family. And more importantly, it made him want to pick her up and steal her away from the ball, so that the Prince could not take her from him.

“Did I say something wrong?.” Clarke says, pulling him from his thoughts. 

“No! No, you’ve said nothing wrong. I was just thinking about how you’re too good for the Prince.”

“Bell, you’ve said that about every man who has approached me. If a Prince is not good enough for me, then who exactly is.?” 

Bellamy wants to say that he is; or at least he wants to be. He wants to tell Clarke that if she gave him the chance, he’d spend every day of his life trying to be good enough for her.

(He, of course, does not say it)

“I don’t know Clarke, but I promise to let you know when I find someone.”

Clarke let’s out a sigh “Well, regardless of your opinion, the Prince would make an ideal match for me.”

Her words make Bellamy tense “You’ve not yet met him, or even seen what he looks like. You may not find him handsome.”

“I’ve told you Bellamy; it does not matter. The Prince is incredibly wealthy. This means he is free to marry any woman, regardless of her wealth, as long as she is titled. The Prince could marry me, even though I have no dowry to give.”

Bellamy cringes at Clarke’s words. He wishes she was free to marry for love, not for money. She is too high spirited to be the wife of some dull high born royal, yet she will make the sacrifice to save her family.

He finds himself, once again, regretting the vow he made to his Father. He wishes he was free to ask Clarke for her hand.

“Is that him?” Whispers Clarke, as the room falls silent.

“It is.” He tells her solemnly. He watches the pompous Prince walk around the room, charming everyone who he passes. He know what he needs to do, but he would rather not. 

“Come with me, Clarke” He says, grabbing her hand before he can change his minds

“Ah! The Duke of Hastings! My old friend, how tremendous to see you. I did not realise you were in London!” Says Prince Finn upon spotting the two.

“Good to see you, Your Highness.” Bellamy replies gruffly. “I trust you are well?.”

“I will be once you introduce me to your enchanting friend.” Winks the Prince, settling his eyes on Clarke.

“This is the Lady Griffin, she has shown much kindness to me since my return to London.”

“I hope she will do the same to me.” Prince Finn smirks. Bellamy does not like the way the Prince looks at her, but he knows that one way or another, Clarke would’ve made herself known to him.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Your Highness.” 

Bellamy watches as the Prince picks up Clarke’s hand, and places a kiss upon it; the sight makes his stomach turn. “My Lady, I do hate formalities, I would ask you to call me Finn.”

The onlookers begin to mutter excitedly when they hear this. “That is too kind... Finn. I would, of course, ask that in return you call me Clarke.”

Bellamy enjoyed saying Clarke’s name, for some reason it seemed to make her blush each time. He didn’t want to hear her name from Finns mouth.

“I would be honoured” Says Finn, eyes focused squarely on Clarke “Would you be so kind as to allow me to dance with you, Clarke?.”

Clarke briefly looks at Bellamy, an unsure look in her eyes. She seems to hesitate, before shooting Finn a smile, and taking his hand. Bellamy stands and watches as Clarke dances with the Prince.

It feels like heartbreak.

-

Things are going well with Finn, and yet Clarke, for reasons unknown, is not happy.

Okay, she knows the reason. It’s Bellamy.

She liked him, more than she’d like to admit.

Finn was a good man, she was sure. He wanted similar things to her, a true partnership and a large family. He was willing to split his time equally between Sweden and London. When he had time to spare, he wanted to travel and see more of Europe.

He was objectively the most marry-able man she’d met, and he was certainly the richest.

Her Mother would be over the moon if Clarke were to marry Finn. It would mean that Abby and her daughters could remain in London, as part of high society, whilst living in a Prince’s home, no less. 

Her sisters would be delighted to be related to a Princess, they had met Finn and had throughly approved of him. Finn also had the approval of Wells and Raven.

In a word, he was perfect.

So why couldn’t Clarke get excited about the prospect of marrying him?.

It was clear to her that she had feelings for Bellamy. But Clarke knew that she would never receive a proposal from him; she would never be his wife. She wanted to want to marry Finn, but it was too hard with Bellamy so close to her.

She needed to tell him how she felt.

It was foolish, she knew. He would never return her feelings. But she wanted to tell him, so that she could accept Finns proposal with no regrets.

She meets Bellamy that afternoon, the two are to take another walk in the park. When she arrives, she sees him stood waiting for her, and butterflies arise in her stomach. She’d never seen such a beautiful man.

“Bellamy!.” She calls to him. “It’s good to see you.” 

“Lady Griffin.” He nods stiffly at her, and it makes her panic.

“Is something wrong?.”

“Everything is fine. I just have something we need to discuss.”

“So do I, actually.”

“I believe it is time to end our arrangement.”

Clarke feels her heart drop to her stomach.

“What?.” She whispers.

“You heard me. I believe our fake courtship is no longer necessary. You have a Prince, and I have concluded my business here in London.”

“So you’re going to leave?.”

“I have no reason to stay.”

“Bellamy I had thought us to be friends.”

He lets out a harsh laugh, so unlike the kind laughter she normally brings out of him. “That is a ridiculous notion. You and I are not friends, we never were. You were useful for me, and I you. But that is all. Our agreement is now over. So I shall bid you goodbye.”

“But Bellamy-“

“My Lady, I believe it is no longer appropriate for you to refer to me by my given name.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You don’t need to. Good day.”

Clarke watches in confusion as Bellamy walks away from her. She knew it was unrealistic for him to feel the same way as her. But she had no idea he did not even consider her a friend. It made no sense.

“My lady?!” Calls her chaperone, a young maid “Are you alright?.”

She continues to stare as Bellamy becomes a distant figure.

“No, I am not alright.”

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos are always appreciated.
> 
> Come say hi to me on [Tumblr](https://turquoisetopazz.tumblr.com)  
> Or say hi to me on Twitter = @turquoisetopazz !!!


	3. My House Of Stone (Your Ivy Grows)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A marriage, a ball, and an epilogue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter is here! 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy

-

Clarke hasn’t seen Bellamy in three weeks, and she’s fine with it.

(Or at least, she’s trying to be.)

Finn is officially courting her, and it’s nice. She doesn’t get the feeling of excitement that she had when she was with Bellamy. But still, Finn is nice.

And nice is good. 

He sends her flowers everyday (she tries to not think about how they’re not as beautiful as the ones Bellamy had sent). They go on walks in the park (she ignores how she doesn’t laugh as much with him). Finn takes her riding one day (she asks if he’ll help her ride astride, and pretends it doesn’t irritate her when he laughs this off).

Wells informs her that Finn is aware, and not concerned, about her lack of dowry. Finn was the second son of a King, he had more than enough money for the both of them.

On several occasions, Finn has alluded to their future together, and Clarke is certain that a proposal is imminent any day now.

All her friends and family are excited, and Clarke only wishes she could feel the same.

Yet no matter how hard she tries, she can’t seem to get Bellamy off her mind.

-

“You look beautiful.” Abby whispers in amazement; her daughter was truly stunning.

“Are you about to cry Mother?.” Clarke teases.

“Well it’s not every day your eldest daughter gets engaged.”

A pit of dread forms in her stomach “You don’t know that Finn will propose.”

Abby scoffs at this “Clarke he’s asked my permission. And tonight he’s throwing a ball. It’s clear what’s about to happen.”

“I suppose you’re right.” She whispers.

Abby frowns at her daughters expression “Are you alright Clarke?.”

“I’m fine.”

“You don’t look it.”

“Were you nervous when you knew Father was about to propose to you?.”

“Well yes, but I was also excited. You don’t look particularly excited dear.”

“It’s just nerves.” She tells her Mother, trying to look confident.

“Clarke,” Abby sighs “You know you don’t have to do this right?.”

Clarke tries to not sound bitter as she replies “But I do, don’t I? I have to do this for our family.”

“I can’t pretend this wouldn’t be good for our family Clarke. But if you don’t want to do this, just tell me. We can figure something out.”

Clarke looks at her Mother’s kind eyes. She thinks about her beloved sisters, and how they’re unknowingly depending on her.

She remembers what her Father had once told her: “You’re my eldest Clarke. You’re in charge now, look after your sisters.”

She smiles at her Mother and shakes her head “I’m ready for this Mother, I promise.”

-

The ball is magnificent; Clarke is now certain it’s to be an engagement party.

She realises that he is going to propose to her in front of everyone. The prospect isn’t appealing to her. She’d always dreamed of a quiet, intimate proposal. She wasn’t a person who’d ever enjoyed being a spectacle.

Finn dances with her all night. He introduces her to every one of his friends. She tries to picture a future with him; and finds it nearly impossible.

“Your dress is exquisite Clarke.” Finn tells her, and she smiles weakly at the compliment.

“Thank you Finn.”

“Are you feeling alright? You look rather pale.”

“I’m afraid I feel a little unwell.”

“That’s unfortunate, I feel as though tonight shall be filled with celebration.” He grins at her.

Clarke can’t help but notice how he doesn’t offer to escort her home when he knows her to be not feeling well. It’s only mildly irritating.

“I think it’d be best if I go for some fresh air.”

“I shall accompany you.”

“No!” She insists, wanting space from him “I need to speak with my sister, I’ll ask her to accompany me.”

“Well if you’re sure.”

Clarke offers no response as she heads towards the gardens, deciding to go it alone. She loves Harper, but is in desperate need of silence.

She sits on a bench in the gardens: she closes her eyes and takes deep breaths in a bid to calm down. Her heart has been beating anxiously since she’d woke up this morning, it was exhausting.

“You shouldn’t be out here.” Comes the voice of Bellamy, making her freeze.

Why was he here?

“And you shouldn’t be in the country.” She points out “According to the town gossip, you’re in New York.”

“I was planning on going there.”

“Well then why are you here?” She sighs, exhaustion evident in her voice.

“I wanted to see you.”

“And why is that? I thought we weren’t friends?.”

“Clarke...”

“No don’t ‘Clarke’ me.” She snaps, springing out of here seat and storming towards him “How dare you come here? Do you know how badly you hurt me. I cared for you! I valued our friendship, and you acted as though it meant nothing.”

“I was wrong.”

“Damn right you were wrong.” She huffs “How could you?.”

“Believe me, it wasn’t easy.” He swears, voice low and pleading.

“Tell me why.”

“It’s complicated.”

She laughs bitterly at this “Fine. Don’t explain. I don’t need you anymore either Bellamy. Prince Finn is everything I could want in a husband. He is sweet and kind, and doesn’t give a damn about my dowry. I’m going to marry him, and I’m going to be happy. I’m going to be a Princess!.”

As she says the word Princess she stomps her foot down onto the ground in what she is aware to be a very childish mood. Yet she is far too angry to care about her outburst.

Bellamy says nothing, simply staring at her with pain in his eyes. Clarke huffs in frustration, and begins to march away from him. Venturing further into the gardens, alone, is a foolish idea. But she needs desperately to get away from him.

“Clarke!” He calls after her “Come back here, right now.!”

She walks quicker, determined to put distance between the two of them. 

“I’m not kidding Clarke! Don’t walk away from me!”

“You can’t tell me what to do!” She shouts back.

“Get inside!.” He huffs, catching up to her. His large hand wraps around her upper arm and holds firmly. Clarke comes to a stop and swings round to stand face to face with him. 

“Leave me be Bellamy.” She demands angrily. Her eyes were already welling up with tears. “Why are you doing this to me?.”

“I just...” He splutters “I just wanted to see you. I had to see you.”

“Why?”

“ I don’t know, I wish I did, believe me.” 

The two stand close together, Bellamy was taller than her; he gazed down at her with such an intensity it made Clarke shudder. 

The silence goes on for so long, she can hardly stand it. She’s breathing heavily, feeling almost dizzy at their proximity. She’s no sure what either will do next.

“Say something.” He urges, voice low.

“I don’t know what you want to hear.”

Bellamy scrunches his eyebrows “‘Neither do I.”

Clarke looks at him. She’d spent the past three weeks doing nothing but thinking about him. His words had very nearly broken her heart, she had cared deeply for him , and had thought perhaps he felt for her the way she felt for him.

The last time they’d spoken, Bellamy had made her believe he felt absolutely nothing for her. Yet the way he was looking at her made her question this.

She wanted to know how he truly felt.

Before she could change her mind, Clarke stood up on the tip of her toes to join her lips with his.

It felt like magic.

Clarke had never kissed anyone. She’d assumed her first kiss would take place upon marriage. But here she was, hidden amongst the gardens, in the dark, with a man she knew would never marry her.

The kiss was cut short by Bellamy, who drew away from her. His eyes were dark with what she hoped was lust, but he looked shocked at her actions. “Clarke...” He breathes “What...why?.”

“You didn’t like it?.” She asks, embarrassed. “Did I do it wrong?.”

“No!. Of course not. But this isn’t proper, if anyone were to see...”

“I don’t care.” She insists “I don’t.”

Bellamy looks at her undecidedly. Before he can say anything else, she pulls him back in.

This time, he responds eagerly. His mouth devours hers, and Clarke excitedly responds. She knows they could be caught, knows it would lead to her ruin. Still, she didn’t find herself caring, in that moment, it felt like no one else existed. All she could feel was Bellamy, he was consuming her completely. 

The kiss deepened, and Clarke groaned as he gently bit down on her lip. He slipped his tongue into her mouth, and she gasped in shock. Everything that was happening was beyond foreign to her, but she enjoyed it none the less.

Bellamy breaks the kiss, much to her disappointment. Before she can complain too much, he presses his lips to her neck. He begins gently kissing her sensitive skin, and it’s almost too much for her to handle.

Clarke’s eyes practically roll back into her head at his ministrations. All she wants is for him to continue, but they don’t get the chance.

“You scoundrel!” Comes the voice of Wells. Her friend appears out of nowhere, practically shaking with rage. 

“Wells. Stay calm” Clarke warns, voice filled with panic.

“How dare you touch her?!” Wells shouts “You promised me you wouldn’t hurt her.”

“Wells he hasn’t hurt me.”

“My friend, let us talk about this...”

“I am not your friend.” Wells growls, before grabbing Bellamy by his the collar of his shirt.

“Leave him alone.” Clarke begs.

“I will not Clarke. He is a rake and he has dishonoured you.”

“He has not dishonoured me.”

“Does he intend to marry you?.”

Clarke freezes at the question. He might have returned her kiss, but she was still unsure if he returned her affection. 

“He does not.” She answers quietly.

“Then he has dishonoured you.” Wells insists, before taking a swing at Bellamy; her friends fist connects with his face before she can intervene. She hears a sickening crunch as Bellamy lets out a grunt of pain.

“Stop.” She continues to beg.

“He’s right Clarke. I deserve this.” Bellamy sighs, not even attempting to free himself from Wells’ grasp.

“Damn right you do.” Wells grunts before landing another punch, this time squarely on the Dukes nose.

“It was just a kiss Wells, nothing more.”

“It doesn’t matter. He should not have taken such a liberty with you. If he has no intention of marrying you, he never should have done such a thing.”

“It does not matter Wells. Let us leave, we can forget this whole thing.”

“We cannot Clarke! You must understand how serious this is! If anyone were to have seen this happen, you and your family would be ruined. His behaviour cannot be ignored.I am a gentlemen, and I am the closest thing you have to a brother. It is my job to defend your honour.”

“I understand.” Nods Bellamy gravely.

“You cannot mean...?” Clarke whispers.

“Bellamy, you and I shall duel at dawn.”

“No! I shall not allow it. Not only is it illegal, it is stupid. One, or both, of you will get yourself killed.”

“Clarke.” Bellamy tells her stoically “Wells is right. I have dishonoured you. And I apologise. This is the only way to settle the matter.”

“It is not the only way.” She tells him, tears freely streaming down her face “We could marry. This would put an end to it.”

“No.” Bellamy replies, “I cannot do that do you.”

Clarke takes a deep breath. “Bellamy please...”

“No Clarke, I shall never marry. You know this.” 

“If that is the case, then we must duel.” Wells insists.

“No!” She cries. Clarke knew Wells was sufficient in duelling, but she imagined Bellamy would be as well. That meant one of them would not walk away from the duel, and she could not bear the thought “Wells, I beg of you. Leave Bellamy and I alone. Let me talk to him. If the matter is not settled by the morning, then I will not interfere with your duel.”

Wells glowers at Bellamy “Alright. Blake, if you and Clarke are not engaged by first light, we shall duel, across the river. Bring your gun, a doctor, and a second in command. Understood?.”

“Understood.”

-

Silence reigns in the kitchen. Clarke and Bellamy had taken a carriage back to her home. It wouldn’t be too long before her Mother realised she’d disappeared and came straight home to demand an explanation. Yet at that moment she did not care, this matter held far more importance.

“You’re good at this”. Bellamy says quietly. Clarke was gently cleaning the wounds on his face, she dabbed rubbing alcohol on his face to stop infection.

“Wells is constantly getting into scrapes, I’ve been cleaning his wounds since we were kids. Last time he duelled, he turned up at my door with a leg bleeding from a bullet graze.”

“He didn’t get a doctor?.”

“He just trusts me more, I guess.”

“I remember our days at university. He often got into duels, always trying to defend the people he cared for, and the things he believed in. I was his second on a few occasions. I never expected I’d ever be someone he’d challenge.”

“You don’t have to be.” Clarke sighs “You know we could put an end to this quite easily. “

“Clarke. I cannot marry you.”

“Cannot or will not?”

“Does it matter?.”

“To me it does.”

“I will not marry you Clarke. Believe me, I do not mean to hurt you, I’m trying to protect you.”

“Protect me from what? I do not understand. You would truly rather die than marry me?.” She asks, trying to hold back her tears, not wanting to cry anymore than she already has.

“I would rather die than hurt you.” He swears.

“If you die I will be hurt! It will be all my fault and I will not be able to bear it.”

“Trust me, it is better than the alternative.”

“Just tell me why! I’m begging you.”

Bellamy looks down at the ground, and takes a deep breath before confessing “Clarke, if we were to marry, you would never have children.”

Clarke feels her heart drop to her stomach at his words. “What do you mean? You are unable to Father them?”

“I am able to Father them, but I have chosen not to.”

“Tell me why.” She demands.

“The reasons are none of your concern” He insists “All you need to know is that I will never have any children. And that is why I can not be your husband. You want to be a Mother, don’t you?.”

Clarke had grown up in a household full of happiness and laughter. Her parents and sisters meant more to her than anything else in this world. Whenever she thought of her future, she saw herself surrounded by children. At least three, like her own parents had, but she’d have more if possible. She’d always dreamt of a loving husband and children she could adore. 

“Yes.” She whispers “I want to be a Mother.”

“And I will not deny you that Clarke. That is why you must let me do this, you must let Wells’ challenge stand.”

“But you’ll die.”

“I know.”

It almost breaks her heart, hearing him sound so defeated. He was truly willing to go to his death so that she might get the chance to have children? It wasn’t something she could live with.

Before Clarke can speak, she hears her Mother’s footsteps.

“Clarke Griffin!” She shouts “Where on Earth have you been?.”

“Mother I-“

“You left the ball without a word. And now I find you alone with the Duke, no chaperone in sight. Explain yourself.”

“We are celebrating Mother.” Clarke replies, offering her Mother a weak smile, desperate to stop her voice from shaking “The Duke has proposed, and I have accepted.”

“Clarke.” Bellamy interrupts, voice strained.

“Is this true?.” Abby breathes, sounding wary but excited.

Clarke looks at Bellamy and offers him a small nod of her head.

“Yes it is true. Bellamy and I, we are to be married.”

-

“I... am not quite sure I understand.”

Clarke cannot help but flush pink with shame. “Yes, I understand your confusion.” She sits with Prince Finn in her family’s drawing room; he looks uncomfortably saddened by the news of her engagement.

Her engagement to Bellamy Blake.

“The night of the ball, I had planned to propose to you. And then you disappeared. Now I find you are to marry another. Did I do something wrong?.”

“No!” Clarke rushes to say. Finn was not a perfect man, but she believed him to be a good one, despite his flaws. She’s certain he would’ve made a good husband... and a good Father.

“Then please Clarke, explain this to me.”

Clarke isn’t sure what to say to him. She could not tell him the real reason she was suddenly engaged to Bellamy. The events of that night were to stay between her, her new fiancé’ and Wells. She was far too ashamed to tell anyone else, she’d even lied to her dear sisters about the circumstances of why she was not to marry the Prince.

“Love.” She says simply, trying to not focus on the complexity behind her words “I love him. I was under the impression that he would never marry, yet he proposed to me, and I had to accept.”

Finn smiles sadly at this “Ah, love. Tale as old as time, I suppose. I was aware you two had been courting when we met, so I suppose I am not too surprised. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. But I ignored it, I looked the other way, because I liked you Clarke. I thought we could’ve been happy together.”

“Oh Finn. I truly am sorry. You might not think this now, but this is for the best. You are a wonderful man, and I am sure you’ll find someone much better for you. You’ll find a girl who will love you like you deserve.”

“I pray you’re right Clarke.” He sighs “And more than anything, I hope you’ll be happy.”

“Yes.” Clarke replies, Bellamy’s face flashing in her mind “I hope so too”

-

“So are you going to tell me what happened that night?.” Wells asks, “Will you tell me what you said to Bellamy to get him to marry you?.”

“No, I shall not.” Clarke answers simply.

“Well, I wish he would’ve said no.”

“How can you say that?!.”

“You were to marry a Prince! Finn is a good man, he would’ve made you happy, he would’ve never dishonoured you like Bellamy did.”

“You’re going to have to let your anger go, my dear friend. Bellamy and I are to marry next week. He’ll be part of both of our lives, forever. The two of you will have to fix your friendship.”

“He made me a promise Clarke.” He replies solemnly “He promised he wouldn’t hurt you. And then he broke that promise, I don’t know how to forgive that.”

“But he has not hurt me, I swear.”

“Clarke... you look exhausted.”

He was right. One week had passed since the night of the ball, and Clarke hadn’t slept much since. Her nights were restless, her mind filled with too many thoughts to sleep peacefully.

How had her life gone so wrong?.

At the start of the season, she had been determined to make a good match, to save her family. Whilst Bellamy’s fortune was definitely enough to protect her Mother and sisters, it was not the match she had hoped for. 

She’d wanted to marry for love. And yet she was certain Bellamy now hated her. After all, he had practically been trapped into a marriage with her. It had been either marriage or death, and even then, matrimony had felt like the least enticing option to him. 

She knew that their married life would be lonely for both, he would resent her, and it would break her heart. Worst of all, she would not even have the comfort of children, to fill their empty home with happiness. 

So yes, she had not been sleeping.

“I had a bad nights sleep Wells, that is all. You must stop your worrying and grumbling. I am to be married to a good man, one who will never lay a hand on me. And his fortune will be more than enough to save my family. That is enough to make me happy.”

“Is it?.”

“It will have to be.”

-

“My sweet daughter, look at yourself! You are a vision.” Abby Griffin gushes at the sight of her eldest daughter in a wedding gown.

Clarke stands in front of a full length mirror, unable to look away from her reflection. Her golden hair was perfectly curled and braided, a silver crown sat atop her head. Her gown was all white silk and lace; it was gorgeous. Clarke looked every bit the perfect bride.

She felt like a fraud.

The wedding was being held only three weeks after the night of their disastrous engagement. Bellamy had been reluctant for it to be held so early, but Clarke had been insistent. The wedding had to happen no matter what, and she had no desire to give Bellamy time to panic and disappear on her. 

It was nearing the end of the summer season, meaning the weather was dreadfully hot. She’d always pictured herself marrying in December, which she knew wasn’t fashionable, but she thought terribly romantic.

Admittedly, no part of their wedding would be as romantic as she’d ever hoped.

The venue is, of course, a church. It’s a lovely, over the top building, decorated with flowers Clarke hadn’t chose.

She tries to distract herself with the interior design of the church, as she walks down it’s long aisle.

The haste of the wedding had one positive, the guest list was short. The summer season was incredibly busy, and most people they knew already had prior arrangements. 

Her sisters walked up the aisle before her, her two bridesmaids, both looking so beautiful it made Clarke want to cry. 

The pews were only half filled, with more on Clarke’s side than Bellamy’s. Wells had offered to escort her, but she’d politely declined, knowing this was something she had to do by herself. 

Clarke scanned the audience looking for one person in particular: Octavia Blake. She knew that Bellamy’s sister would be here today, he had mentioned it during one of the few brief conversations they’d had since the engagement. It doesn’t take long to spot her, the resemblance is startling. The younger Blake shares a lot of features with Bellamy, especially the eyes, it’s almost disconcerting. 

When she catches Octavia’s eyes, the girl gives her an encouraging nod and a smile. It helps to ease her nerves; at least there was one Blake who didn’t hate her. 

When she looks away from Octavia, she realises she can’t put it off any longer. She looks to the end of the aisle and her eyes finally settle on Bellamy. Clarke’s breath catches at the sight of him, he looks devastatingly handsome, as always.

She reaches the end of the aisle, and he takes her hand and faces her. The way he’s looking at her is rather unnerving. His eyes are dark, and full of emotion. She can’t quite identify what it is that’s going on his head, and she’s not sure she wants to. She thinks there’s something akin to love in his eyes, but she knows that’s wishful thinking. 

The ceremony is short, and the vows are standard. They stick to the script, not deviating from tradition. Her voice is shaky as they come to the end.

“And do you, Clarke Griffin, take Bellamy Blake to be your husband?.”

He slips the ring onto her finger, and she does her best to smile.

“I do.”

“Then I now pronounce you husband and bride. Bellamy, you may kiss the bride.”

When their lips meet, she almost forgets the circumstances surrounding them. It’s a very untraditional kiss, she’s sure. Most bride and grooms have a quick, perfunctory kiss, for the sake of propriety. Yet their kiss is more passionate than she’s sure is appropriate. It’s deep and heated, and when it ends, her whole face is flushed red.

“You look beautiful Clarke.” Bellamy whispers to her, and it brings up butterflies in her stomach.

As far as weddings go, Clarke’s sure it’s not the worst to have ever happened.

-

The Hasting Estate is cold, dreary and downright dreadful.

Clarke hates it immediately.

She sits in a large bed, in an even larger room, alone. After the wedding reception, her and Bellamy had returned to his (now her) family home to begin their life as newly weds. He had awkwardly informed her this would be her room, (Clarke instantly noticed it was as far away from his room as possible), and had left rather abruptly.

Clarke was disappointed at this, but not particularly surprised. Given how strained their relationship had become, she wasn’t shocked that he would want his space from her.

(That didn’t mean it hurt any less.)

She assumed he would come back soon, after all it was their wedding night. Clarke wasn’t totally clueless about what was going to happen. So she lied awake, waiting for his return.

She thought about the reception. The two had danced together, of course, but neither had said much. She had hoped their kiss would’ve lightened the mood between the two, yet he remained as though a storm cloud was permanently residing over his head. 

Her goodbyes to her family hadn’t been too emotional. After all, they would soon be moving to the Hastings estate by years end. That was the only thing which brought Clarke comfort, knowing the eerily quiet mansion would soon be filled with the voices of her beloved family.

Clarke herself had hoped that the mansion would also be lived in by Octavia. The two had spoken at the reception, and Clarke already knew they would be good friends. She had been excited at the prospect of having another sister to live with. Yet she’d been disappointed to learn that Octavia permanently resided in New York with her husband.

“I detest London.” The girl had announced “It is nothing compared to New York. I would not have returned were it not for my big brother getting married. In fact, I had hoped to persuade him to marry you in New York, so that I may not be forced to spend time in this awful city. I intend to remain here for the week, so that you and I can get to know each other. Then I shall return home, where my heart resides.”

Clarke was infinitely jealous of the way Octavia seemed to love her husband. She’d gushed about the man constantly, and was clearly missing him. Lincoln had been forced to remain in New York for business, and Octavia was clearly eager to return to him.

What was most surprising about Octavia was her insistence of staying at a hotel whilst in London. The girl had refused the offer to stay in the mansion. Clarke didn’t know much about Octavia, much like the rest of society, but she’d assumed the girl would’ve been happy to stay in her childhood home.

The look on Octavia’s face when Clarke mentioned the mansion had been complexing, the girl had looked almost scared at the idea of returning. And when Clarke had asked Octavia to visit them for tea in the coming week, the girl had instead suggested they take a walk together in town. Clarke was incredibly curious about Octavia, and hoped they’d be able to speak properly before the girl heads back to America. 

As she lies in the soft bed, she thinks about how the stress of the past month has worn terribly on her. She’d been so anxious about the wedding, that now it was over, her body was finally relaxing a bit. She tries to keep her eyes open, to no avail.

She’s alone as she falls asleep on her wedding night.

-

The breakfast table is uncomfortably formal. Clarke and Bellamy sit across from each other at a long table. It’s nothing like breakfasts at the Griffin Manor, they were always a chaotic, informal affair. Her sisters and Mother all sat close, and chatted loudly.

“Did you sleep well?.” Bellamy asks.

“I slept alone.” She replies bitterly. She’d been beyond disappointed when she’d woken up this morning, Bellamy had never come to her room like she’d assumed he would.

“Did you expect not to?.” He says, a confused expression on his face.

“I don’t think any woman expects to be alone on their wedding night.”

“I thought I’d made it clear we’d be sleeping apart.”

“I understood that you wanted separate rooms. But I had thought we’d at least... consummate the marriage”. She whispers the last part of the sentence, looking down at the table in embarrassment. 

“I won’t risk getting you pregnant, Clarke.”

“But aren’t there ways to avoid that?.”

“Yes, there are.”

“So why haven’t we...?”

“I don’t think it’s the best idea.”

Clarke’s heart sinks at that “I don’t understand Bellamy, we’re married. That’s what’s expected of us. So why don’t you want to. Is there something wrong with me?.”

“Of course not!.” He says forcefully “I just thought it’s best not to. So that you have options.”

“Options?.” She demands, not liking what he was suggesting.

“If we don’t consummate this marriage, it would mean you could choose to have it annulled. If you were to change your mind.”

“You think I’ll change my mind?!.”

“You rushed into this quickly Clarke. If there comes a day when you realise you regret choosing this, choosing a life without children, then you’d be free to change your mind.”

“Marriage is for life. We said ‘till death do us part’, it’s not something we can just undo.”

“If it’s not consummated, then the marriage can be undone. I’d accept responsibility, and you could walk away with your reputation in tact.”

Clarke has no idea what to reply to this. Bellamy was trying to protect her, trying to give her a choice in how she wanted to live her life. She’d spent the past month being angry with him. But in this moment, she remembered exactly why she’d fallen for him, why she’d kissed him that night in the gardens.

“I’m not going to change my mind, Bellamy. I’m in this for life.”

“You might feel that way know, but give it time. You can change your mind at any point, and I swear I won’t hold it against you.”

“Sorry Bellamy” She tells him, offering him a soft smile “But you’re stuck with me.”

-

“I’m sorry to drag you back to the city so soon after your wedding.” Apologises Octavia “But I prefer to avoid the Hastings estate whenever necessary.”

“It is no trouble.” Clarke reassures her, as the two walk through the park, arms linked together.

“How are you enjoying married life?.” 

“Well,” Clarke smiles tightly “Its only been three days, so I suppose it’s hard to say.” She doesn’t want to tell Octavia that her and Bellamy have spent as little time possible together.

“Clarke... my brother and I are very close. We both lost our Mothers at an early age, and our Father was not around. It’s always been the two of us, against the rest of the world. He means everything to me.”

“I understand, my sisters and I are all very close.”

“I’m not sure you do.” Octavia tells her hesitantly “I’m Bellamy’s closest confidant... so he tells me everything.”

“Oh.” Says Clarke in realisation “You mean he’s told you...”

“How the two of you began courting, and how you ended up engaged.”

“I see.”

“I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I just thought you should know. I am your sister now, after all, and I would like us to be honest with one another.”

“I think I’d like that too.” 

“Good.” Octavia smiles brightly “Now tell me honestly, how have your first days of marriage gone?.”

“Terrible.” She admits “We have barley spoken. Your brother seems to be under the impression that our marriage is temporary.”

“Of course. That does not surprise me. Bell has never had much faith in himself. Ever since we were kids, he’s never thought himself of deserving anything good.”

“Will you tell me why?. The whole story?” She begs “I just want to understand Bellamy. He’d make a wonderful Father, I know he would. So why does he deny himself the chance?.”

“It’s complicated.” 

“Try me. Please.”

Octavia turns to her with a fierce expression, and Clarke suddenly feels rather intimidated. “Do you love my brother?.” She demands.

Clarke isn’t sure how’s best to respond “That’s also complicated. I like him, and I care for him. And, I think it’s love, but I’m not really sure, not yet anyway.”

Octavia considers this, before nodding her head “That’s good enough.”

“So you’ll tell me?.”

“Yes, I wouldn’t say it’s a long story, but it’s definitely not a happy one.”

Octavia takes a deep breath before she begins “Bellamy likes to tell people I wasn’t raised in society because our Father sent me to a boarding school in France for my education. But it’s not true. The truth is that I was raised at the Hastings Estate, as a servant.”

That’s not what Clarke was expecting.

“I’m a bastard Clarke.” Says Octavia, no shame on her face. “Bellamy and I have the same Father, but we don’t share Mother’s. My Mother was a servant, and she had an affair with my Father a few years after Bellamy’s Mother had passed. My Mother had thought that my Father would marry her, but he cast her aside. When I was born, he refused to give me the Blake name.”

“How cruel.”

“Yes.” Octavia laughs bitterly “Cruel is perhaps the best word to describe my Father. I was his flesh and blood, yet he ignored me my whole life. Even after my Mother died, he never cared for me. Before his death, I worked in the kitchens, I had almost nothing. Except for Bellamy, I’ve always had him.”

Clarke smiled sadly at this, the Blake’s clearly had a deep bond, and now she understood why. “My Mother resented me, she blamed me for not being a boy. If she’d had given my Father a son, he might’ve shown us more favour. Bellamy was the only one to truly love me. He’s looked after me my life. He taught me to read and write, to ride a horse, to act like a lady. Although I must admit, he didn’t do too good of a job at making me a lady. I’ll never fit into society; I have no desire to.”

“Good, I like you as you are.” Clarke tells her. 

“You’re too kind Clarke, really. I was so excited when Bellamy told me about you. Despite the circumstances, I was happy to hear Bellamy would finally marry someone. I was always so worried he’d be alone.”

“But why? I don’t understand it, why did he not want to marry. Why... why won’t he give me children.?”

“It was not just me my Father was cruel to. He never cared for Bellamy either, said he was useless, a disappointment. All Father cared for was his name, his legacy. So this is Bellamy’s revenge. If Bellamy has no heirs, then the Blake legacy ends, the Hastings fortune will be divided up amongst distant family members.”

“It won’t go to you, to your children?.”

“Bellamy insisted I be named Lady Blake the moment our Father took his last breath. But our Father had never legitimately claimed me, the banks would never hand me any part of the Blake money.”

“So Bellamy will end the Blake lineage? All to get his revenge?”

“Yes, unfortunately.”

“That is madness! Your Father is dead, what need does Bellamy have to try and hurt him from the grave?.”

“Clarke you cannot understand” Octavia sighs “You were raised in a good home, with a loving family. Bellamy and I have never had the love of our parents, it is a burden we have always carried with us, and always will.”

“You do not carry it as Bellamy does.”

“Perhaps not in the same way, but Clarke, it haunts me everyday. Lincoln is a wonderful man, and when I married him, no one could deny that I was a true Lady. But I will never be comfortable in society, I will never feel like I fit in anywhere. That is the doing of my Father, and I am afraid it can never be undone.”

“Does the same go for Bellamy? Can his damage never be undone? Will be never let himself be happy?.”

“Oh Clarke. I don’t know.” Octavia smiles sadly, eyes filling with tears “I hope so. I hope that, perhaps, you can be the one, to show him happiness.”

-

Clarke returns back to her new home with a head full of thoughts.

She finally had the answers she’d wanted ever since the day she’d become engaged to Bellamy. Knowing the reasons behind him not wanting children made it impossible to hate him. She can’t she completely understood, but she no longer felt anger towards him.

She’d been resolved to talk to her husband about what Octavia had told her. Yet when she enters the main hall, she becomes immediately taken up with another thought.

The servants of the house were in chaos. Everyone was on the move, doing some kind of activity. They were covering up all the surfaces with white cloth, and picking up furniture and carrying it away.

“What is going on?.” She asks one of their serving girls.

“We’re packing the manor up, your grace.” The girl replies quietly.

“For what reason?.”

“By order of your husband, your grace. No one is quiet sure why. I believe he is in his office if you wish to speak with him.”

“Thank you my dear.” Clarke says before heading off to find Bellamy.

Her husband sits in his office, writing a letter, with a frown on his face.

“What’s going on?.” She questions him. “Why are we packing?.”

Bellamy gets out his desk to stand in front of her and smiles “We’re moving out of this dreadful place, as soon as possible.”

“But we only just got here? How long are we leaving for?.” Clarke asks in concern, not excited at the prospect of leaving London and her family.

“We’re leaving this place forever. I’ve sold the estate.”

She gasps in shock at this “But why? And how come I’ve only just found this out now.?”

“I only finalised the contracts this morning. I know this will be a surprise to you, but don’t worry, I promise you’ll be happy about this.”

“Why? Who have you sold it to?.”

“I didn’t exactly sell.” He smirks “I traded it. With Lord Edwin.”

Clarke’s jaw drops at this “My Fathers cousin? You traded for his home?.”

“No Clarke, I traded for your home. Griffin Manor is now ours, in exchange for this awful place.”

“Why?” She breathes out, heart beating fast “Why did you do that?.”

“Because I hate this place. It’s not a home, not really. Octavia and I have never liked it here. And I doubt you and your family would enjoy spending your days here. So I decided to trade, and I think it was a rather genius decision.”

“Bellamy... I can’t believe...”

“Are you happy?” He asks, suddenly seeming nervous, like a young boy.

“Of course! I am beyond happy.” She squeals, and before she can think it through, she pulls him in for a hug.

When they part, his face is as red as she imagines hers must be. They both grin at each other, and for a moment, Clarke thinks they could be happy together.

“Good, I’m glad. I’ve sent word to your Mother to tell her the news.”

“I don’t know how to thank you, this is so wonderful. But, will you be happy to live there?.”

“Your family home is better than mine in every way.” He reassures her “I’m sure whenever I visit town, I’ll be happy to stay there.”

This confuses Clarke, “When you visit town?.”

“Once you’ve settled back at your home, I will be leaving for New York.”

“What? For how long?.”

“Well... I thought it be best for me to spend most of my time there, whilst you reside in London. I’ll, of course, make appearances during the social seasons. I’ll make sure there is no cause for gossip.” He offers her a reassuring smile “You won’t need to worry, no one will think anything of me being in New York for my business, whilst you remain here with your family.”

“So what you’re saying is you intend for us to live separate?.” She asks bitterly. 

“Of course.” He says slowly, like he’s shocked at the question. “After all, I know this is what not what you wanted. I thought that the least I can do is not force my constant company on you. At least this way, you’ll have your freedom to live your life as you’d like.”

Clarke can feel anger bubbling up inside her. He wants to leave her?. It wasn’t right, it wasn’t fair on either of them. He didn’t seem to want to give their relationship a chance of succeeding. 

“None of that is how I want to live my life.”

“I know, and I will always be sorry for that. And I understand you’re still angry at me. But I hope you’ll accept your family home as an apology. I know you’re an independent person, and I’m sure you’ll be content in London, with your family and friends. And if you wanted to travel anywhere, I’d be more than happy to fund it.”

His offer is a genuine one, she knows that. But it still makes her furious. She’d love to travel, would do anything to see more of the world. But she didn’t want to do that alone, she wanted a partner to go with her. She wanted to be with Bellamy, but he was clearly happy to not be with her.

“So when will you leave?.” She says, not responding to his offer.

“Well this is supposed to be our honeymoon period, so it would look strange for me to leave now. We’ll need to attend a few balls together, as a couple. I think I’ll be here for the next few weeks.”

“Well.” She huffs, going to storm away, “I hope you can put up with my company till then.”

-

“Oh Clarke,” Harper smiles, as she walks in the gardens, arm in arm with her sister “I’ll be forever grateful to Bellamy. I could not have imagined leaving our home.”

“You’ll have to one day, dear sister. Soon some handsome man will whisk you away.”

“Yes but you’ll always be here. With Bellamy, and with Mother. And one day, your children. I’m ever so glad the manor will remain in our family.”

Clarke gets uncomfortable with her sisters comment. She has yet to tell anyone in her family that she’ll never have children. That her and Bellamy will have to pull some strings to make sure the manor goes to Harper or Charlottes children.

“Yes, we are very lucky for Bellamy’s kindness.”

“I am curious, as to why he was so ready to give up his own family estate.”

“Well...Him and his Father had not gotten along well.” She tells Harper, diluting the truth “So I don’t think he will miss the Hastings mansion too much.”

“That’s a shame.” Her sister says, before a wicked look flashes on her face “But perhaps that’s not the only reason he gave it up so quickly.”

“What do you mean?.”

“He must truly love you, if he’s gone to all this trouble to make you happy”

“Harper” Clarke says carefully, not wanting to lie to her, but also not wanting to be completely honest “Bellamy and I may get along, but it is not love.”

“Maybe not now. But I’ve seen the way you look at him, and he at you. It’ll be love, one day.”

Clarke has no answer to that. In around three weeks, Bellamy would take off to New York, and it could be months, maybe even a year, before she would see him again.

But what if she could change that? She couldn’t deny she had feelings for him. Maybe she could fix things, so that he wouldn’t leave London, wouldn’t leave her.

“I think.” She smiles “You might be right.”

-

Bellamy moved to the Griffin Manor a few days after her. Clarke had insisted they share a room, for the short time Bellamy would be living there. If they had requested separate rooms, her Mother ( and the nosy servants) would become concerned.

He’d sat with her, Abby and her sisters for dinner in the evening. And Clarke could tell he enjoyed it. She imagined he didn’t get many family meals growing up, so he was clearly not used to the situation. Yet, he chatted animatedly with her family, and she’s pretty sure they fell in love with him even more.

“Thank you, for being so patient with my family.” Clarke smiles at him “They really like you.”

“Well, I’d never want to get on your Mothers bad side. She’s a formidable woman; explains where you get your attitude from.”

“I don’t have an attitude!.”

“Maybe attitude was the wrong word. All I meant was, you’re fierce, and you’d clearly do anything for your family. And it seems your Mother, and your sisters, are all the same.”

Clarke can’t help but grin at that “Yes, well us Griffin women are very loyal, you don’t want to get on any of our bad sides.”

“I shudder at the thought.” He smirks, before glancing at their bed and shifting awkwardly. “I’ll... erm leave you to get dressed.”

As Clarke readies herself for bed, she try’s to ignore the butterflies in her stomach. Bellamy and her had been officially married for three weeks, but they’d always had separate beds. Although she wouldn’t admit it out loud, she was rather excited at the prospect of sharing a bed with him.

She’s under the covers when he returns, wearing his own night clothes. The loose white shirt looks stupidly good against his tanned skin. She was constantly being made aware of how handsome her husband was.

“I was thinking.” He murmurs “It’d be best if I sleep on the floor. I’ll wake before the servants come in, to avoid gossip.”

Clarke rolls her eyes at him “Don’t be stupid.”

This brings a startled laugh from his lips “That was very ladylike.”

“Well I’m not just a lady Bellamy, I’m your wife.” She snaps. “And I know you like to ignore that fact, but we’re married. You’re not going to dishonour me by sharing my bed. It’s a large space, we won’t even touch.”

“You’re right, Clarke. I’m sorry, I just didn’t want to put you in an uncomfortable situation.”

He approaches the bed gingerly, like she was a wild animal, about to attack him for invading her space. When he slips under the covers, she draws in a deep breath. Bellamy makes sure he’s as far away from her as possible. The space between them practically fizzles with tension.

“Goodnight Clarke.”

“Goodnight Bell.” She whispers, before blowing out her candle.

-

Clarke wakes up feeling hot all over. The sun shines bright through curtains. The house feels quiet.

And Bellamy Blake is on top of her.

His large body covers her almost completely, and it’s strangely very comfortable. They haven’t been this close since that night in the gardens. It’s only in that moment does she realise how much she’d missed physical contact with him.

Bellamy starts to stir, and she immediately closes her eyes and goes still.

“Shit.” She hears him murmur, probably as he realises the position they’re in.

To her surprise, he doesn’t move, he stays close to her. She tries to breath evenly, not wanting him to know she was feigning sleep. Her heart beats fast as Bellamy starts to gently stroke her hair; it makes her body melt.

Bellamy pauses for a moment, as if unsure what to do. She thinks he’s going to try and slip out of the bed, but he doesn’t. Instead he rolls over onto his side, and takes her with him. His arm is slung over her waist, and he leaves their legs entangled.

She’s never been as comfortable in her life. For a moment, she feels peaceful. It’s like they were a normal, happy married couple. 

Clarke let’s herself fall back to sleep, with a smile on her face.

-

She awakes a few hours later, and is disappointed to find Bellamy has gone. She makes her way downstairs to find him, thinking about her conversation with Harper. 

She wanted to make things work with her husband.

Bellamy is in one of their drawing rooms, he’s sat on a sofa with Charlotte, the two talking animatedly. She spots a book in his hand, and realises he was reading to her sister. Clarke stays by the doorway, content to observe the two. It takes a moment, and she realises that Bellamy was putting on different voices for the characters. One particularly strange impression from Bellamy causes hysterical laughter to come from Charlottes lips.

The sight makes Clarke’s heart ache. Bellamy would make an a wonderful Father, she was certain. He tried to pretend that he didn’t like children, but she knew it was all an act. She imagined the two of them, surrounded by children, laughing joyfully. The picture was so clear in her head, and she hated to think it would never be real.

“Hey kid.” Clarke calls to Charlotte as she steps into the room “Mind if I borrow Bellamy?.”

Charlotte pouts at this “Fine. But Bellamy, you’ve got to finish the story later.”

“I promise.” He grins at her “But no more laughing at my voices.”

“Nope”. Her sister teases, before skipping out of the room.

“I see you’re trying to replace me as Charlottes favourite.” Clarke accuses.

“I’m not trying Clarke.” He says seriously “I’ve succeeded.”

A brief, but sincere moment of laughter passes between the two, before Clarke says what she’d gone to find him for.

“I was wondering, if you wanted to come riding with me today?.”

Bellamy tilts his head at this, clearly surprised she was asking him to spend time with her “I’d love to, but I’d have thought you’d rather go with Harper.”

“Well Harper would never help me ride anything but sidesaddle.” She reasons “And also... I want us to be friends.”

Bellamy smiles nervously at that “Friends?.”

“Why not? I know you’re going to New York, but like it or not, our marriage is for life.”

“Or until you decide to smother me in my sleep.”

“Actually I was thinking poison.”

“That makes sense.”

“But until I can find my supply of arsenic, we are married. And when you’re in London, we’ll have to spend time together.” Clarke points out “I know you’re not in love with me... but can’t we at least be friends?”

“Of course Clarke, I’d be honoured to be your friend.”

-

“Did you want separate horses this time?.” He questions.

Clarke thinks back to the first time they rode a horse together. The feeling of his body pressed against hers was something she wanted to experience as often as she could.

“I’m still not confident riding astride by myself.” She lies.

“That’s not a problem.”

Bellamy brings a horse from their stables, and she can’t hide the smile off her face when he places his hands on her waist to help her sit astride the horse.

Like the last time, he sits behind her, and she gets such a thrill out of it. He smelt unfairly good; and she felt herself relax as she breathes in his scent.

“You ready Princess?.”

“Of course.” She grins, as Bellamy pats the horse, and the two head towards the forests.

They ride for hours. She knows her legs will ache once they’re finished, but she can’t bring herself to care. The feeling of the wind in her hair, and Bellamy’s arms around her make her feel ridiculously good.

When the horse trots slowly back to the stables, Clarke can’t help but want to fill the silence. The sound of his voice, especially so close to her ear, was wonderful.

“You know, if I knew that marriage meant I could stop riding sidesaddle, I would’ve done this years ago.”

“You didn’t know me years ago.”

“I suppose I would’ve had to marry Lord Wick.” She tells him, trying to keep laughter from her voice.

Her joke doesn’t get the desired response, his whole body goes tense at the suggestion. “Don’t say that.” He says, voice strained “Never say that.”

“It was a joke, Bell.” She says softly, knowing he tends to calm down when she uses his nickname.

“Well it wasn’t funny. Lord Wick isn’t good enough to clean your boots, let alone marry you.”

“You know, I heard he’s left town.”

“Good. I’m still angry with him. If I ever were to see him anywhere near you again, I’m not sure he’d walk away alive.”

“A little protective there Bellamy?.” She teases, wanting him to relax.

“Well,” He says softly “You are my friend after all.”

Bellamy gets off the horse first, then goes to help Clarke to the ground. He looks happy, looks like he enjoys being there with her. It makes her heart sing. 

He’s stood so close to her, and she knows what she wants when he looks at her. She takes his face in both hand and presses her lips to his. Bellamy doesn’t hesitate to respond, he pulls her close to him and deepens their kiss. It’s rough and passionate, and she loves every second of it. 

His lips practically devour hers, and she responds with equal fervour. It’s not like their kiss in the garden, this time they don’t have to hide. She’s kissing her husband, and it’s amazing.

Yet when he pulls away and looks at her, she knows the moment is well and truly over. “Clarke.” He says solemnly “We shouldn’t have done that.”

“Why not? We’re married for gods sake!”

“Because I don’t want to give you the wrong idea.”

“What? That you actually like me?.”

“Of course I like you. I care about you, and that’s why I won’t do this again. I’m not going to give you the impression that I’ll ever change my mind. I don’t want you to feel things for me, because it just means that I’ll eventually hurt you, and then you’ll leave. It’s best that we are just friends. Isn’t that what you want?.”

I want you to love me like I love you, she thinks. Her stomach drops at the realisation. It was love that she felt for him, and she could no longer deny it. She loved him so much, and she was going to lose him.

“I think it’s clear that you don’t know what I want, Bellamy.” She sighs, before walking away from him.

-

It had been a week since their kiss outside the stables, and neither one had brought it up. 

They weren’t ignoring each other, far from it. They’d been acting like friends, it felt similar to the time they’d spent fake courting each other. There was still a lingering tension between them, they just weren’t addressing it.

Octavia had decided to stay in London longer than originally promised. Clarke knew her sister in law was simply waiting for Bellamy to be ready to leave with her, and it was a painful reminder that Bellamy would be spending most of his time in New York.

Yet she was very much enjoying Octavia’s presence. The younger Blake sibling had taken a guest room at Griffin Manor. Clarke was spending her time with the Blake’s, as well as Harper, and Raven and Wells. They made up a fun group, with her sister and Raven adoring Octavia, and Bellamy working to fix his friendship with Wells.

Each day passed with laughter, and Clarke was dreading the day he would leave. Which she soon found out would be sooner than later.

“Your Mother tells me she’s planning a ball.” He whispers to her, in the darkness of their bedroom. 

“She wants to officially celebrate you saving Griffin Manor. I’m sure it’ll be a nice night, our balls here don’t tend to be particularly pretentious. I’ll promise you’ll have fun.”

“I’m sure I’ll enjoy it. But after that night, I think it’ll be best for me to leave.”

Clarke sighs, she knew this day would come, but it didn’t mean she was okay with it. She’d thought she could fix things with him, but she’d failed miserably.

“And you’re sure you want to go alone?.”

“I know this seems drastic Clarke, but I promise you, this is for the best.”

Clarke stares into the darkness of their bedroom; she doesn’t respond to him.

-

The ball is beautiful, and Clarke isn’t enjoying a second of it.

Her favourite part of the balls at the manor has always been the location. In summer, they were held in the outside courtyard. Clarke loved being able to dance with a breeze on her skin. Yet tonight, she wished the ball wasn’t happening.

She’s too preoccupied with Bellamy, not wanting him to leave her. As she dances with her friends, she finds herself unable to focus on anything they’re saying.

She stands at the outer edge of the courtyard. She was too tense to dance, and so she stood and observed.

“You don’t look happy.” Says Octavia, coming to stand by her side.

“Why wouldn’t I be happy?.” She sighs “My husband is leaving me tomorow, and I have no clue when he’s going to return.”

“I’m sorry Clarke, if it was up to me, he’d be staying.”

“But it’s not up to either of us, it’s Bellamy’s decision. And he’s decided he doesn’t want this marriage.”

“You know, I think you and Bellamy are as blind as each other.”

“What are you talking about?.”

“Of course he wants this marriage. Clarke, he wants you more than he’s ever wanted anything.”

“But I tried... I tried to make things work.”

“And he pushed you away?.”

“Yes.” She whispers.

“That’s because he’s scared! He doesn’t want to get attached to you, because he knows he couldn’t handle you leaving”

“But I don’t want to leave him!.”

“Well then tell him.” Octavia says, likes its the easiest thing in the world to do.

“Just like that?.”

“Just like that.”

Clarke sets her eyes on Bellamy, across the room, looking as devastatingly handsome as always. She walks towards him without looking back to Octavia.

“Dance with me.” She demands when she reaches him.

“Whatever you want, Princess.” He smiles.

As the two waltz around the room, Clarke can’t seem to tear her eyes off him. Every-time their hands brush, she wants to grab onto them and not let go. For someone who generally disliked society, he was a rather good dancer.

“You look deep in thought.” He whispers to her.

“That’s because I am.”

“Penny for your thoughts?.”

“You can have them for free.”

Bellamy grins at this, but before she can speak, she feels a drop of water land on her face.

It was a summer storm.

Almost out of nowhere, rain crashes down. Everyone begins to scatter, making their way towards the indoor ball room. 

“Let’s go.” Bellamy tells her, beginning to march inside. Clarke doesn’t move from her spot. She wants to tell him how she feels, and she intends to tell him right now.

“Clarke.” He shouts at her, frustration evident in his voice “Come back inside.”

“Why?” She laughs “The weathers fine.” 

Clarke begins to spin on the empty dance floor, all the guests had fled inside. It’s just the two of them.

“You’ll catch your death.” He grumbles.

“Dance with me.”

“Clarke...”

“Dance with me!” She insists.

“You’re drunk.”

“I’m sober, I swear. One dance, then I’ll go inside.”

Bellamy reluctantly pulls Clarke towards him, muttering about the cold. “You look cheery.” He accuses.

“I am, do you want to know why?.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m going to New York with you.” She grins. It had taken her a while to realise what she needed to do. And now she had figured it out, she wasn’t going to back down. 

He stiffens up at this “Clarke we’ve talked about this. I thought we decided it was best that you stay here?.”

“No you decided for me, and I’m not standing for it, not anymore. After the wedding, when I went to visit Octavia, I convinced her to tell me about your Father.”

Bellamy shuts his eyes tightly, he knows what they’ll have discussed. “I don’t want your pity.”

“I don’t pity you Bellamy!” She practically shouts “I love you.”

He freezes at this.

“What did you just say?.” He whispers, disbelief in his voice.

“I love you! You idiot! Can’t you see? I’m ridiculously in love with you. And I’m tired of hiding it.”

“Why are you telling me this Clarke?.”

“Because, I know about the vow you made to your Father, and I think you’ve made a mistake.”

“Clarke-“ He starts, voice pained

“Let me talk.” She begs “Please.”

“Fine.” 

“I understand that you think you’re getting revenge on your Father. But you’re not. All you’re doing is letting him control your life, even from the grave. You’d make an amazing Father, I know you would. By denying yourself a family, all you’re doing is hurting yourself. And I think deep down you know that.”

Tears well up in Bellamy’s eyes. “All my life, I’ve sworn I’d get revenge on my Father. I don’t know how to let go of that.”

“You can still get yourself justice Bell. You want to win? Then forget him, let yourself be what he never was: be happy.”

Clarke’s words have left tears streaming down his face “What if I can’t?.”

“I’ll help you.” She promises, grabbing on to his hands tightly. The two are no longer dancing; instead they simply stand together in the rain.

“How?.”

“I don’t know.” She admits, laughter falling from her lips “All I know is that I love you, and that’s enough. We can figure it out together. I know you keep waiting for me to decide to leave, but I won’t. I’m not going anywhere, I’m not ending this. I intend to stay by your side, no matter what.”

Bellamy sighs, in relief or sadness, she cannot say.

“Just promise you’ll stay.” She begs “Promise you’ll love me back, or you’ll at least try to.”

“Clarke, I think I’ve been in love with you since the moment I saw you give Lord Wick a black eye.”

“Not exactly my most ladylike moment.” She sighs.

“It was amazing, you’re amazing Clarke. And I love you so much, it’s consuming me. But I’m scared, I still don’t know if I can give you what you want.”

“I’m not asking for you to give me children this very moment. You’ve suffered so much, I don’t expect you to heal straight away. You need time and I know that. All I’m asking is that you don’t completely close the door on the possibility of us having a family.”

“You’re saying you’ll wait?.”

“As long as it takes.”

“And if I’m never ready?.”

“It’ll hurt, but I’ll survive. You’re worth it Bellamy. The way I feel for you, it’s enough. You are enough.”

“Clarke...”

“Do you love me?.” 

“Of course.”

“Then stay with me.”

Bellamy smiles softly at her. Clarke is soaked and shivering from the rain, and yet she looks beautiful. She always looks so beautiful. He runs his fingers through her hair, and breathes her in. She smells like vanilla, and rain, and something so distinctly Clarke that it makes his heart ache.

He drops a kiss on her forehead before saying “I’ll stay Clarke, for as long as you want me.”

-

Four Years Later.

“It’s about time you two returned to London.” Wells beams at Clarke and Bellamy, as he walks into their home.

The two had gotten to Griffin manner a mere few minutes ago. It spoke to how quick London gossip travelled that they’d already received a visitor so early. 

“You missed me the most right?.” Bellamy teases, as he shakes the hand of his friend.

“Definitely not.” Wells replies, as he brings Clarke in for a hug.

“And where is the rest of the Jaha family?.” Clarke asks.

“Raven is at home with our boys. She promises to visit this week.”

“I’ll hold her to that.” Clarke grins, beyond happy to see Wells.

Since their wedding four years ago, Bellamy and Wells had finally completely repaired their friendship. It had been a slow road, but she was happy her two favourite men were back to getting along.

“And how long will you two be here before you take off again?.” Wells asks.

“Don’t worry my friend.” Bellamy replies “We’ll be in London for the foreseeable future .”

“Well then I will hold you to that.” Wells smiles, “Now, I’m sorry to say this, but I need to go.”

“You only just got here!.”

“I’m in town for a business meeting. I was only stopping by to see if the rumours of your return were true. Now that I’m satisfied you’re both home, I will be heading to the bank, and I’ll leave you both to settle in.”

“Good day then, friend.” Bellamy says, and Clarke loves hearing the sincerity behind his voice.

“Jenny!” Clarke calls over to one of their maids “Where are my family?.”

“Your Mother is out visiting a friend.”

“And Charlotte?” She asks. Harper had left home two years ago, when she’d married Lord Monty Green. He was a kind, and rather intelligent boy, who Clarke had thoroughly approved of. Her Mother happily remained in the manor, looking after the home as her and Bellamy were away often.

“I believe she is out for a walk with Lord Atom Ward.”

“And is she accompanied by a chaperone?.” 

“Of course, your grace.”

“Well that’s something.” Clarke sighs “Thank you Jenny.”

“There’s no need to look like that, my love”. Bellamy teases, taking Clarke’s hand and guiding her towards their bedroom. “You know Atoms harmless.”

“He better be.” She grumbles. Charlotte was her baby sister, and she felt protective of her. She’d met Atom on several occasions, he seemed like a nice boy, but she still couldn’t stop herself from worrying.

“If he’s not then I shall run him out of town.” Her husband grins.

“You better.”

“Have I ever let you down?.”

“Hmnnn... Once or twice.”

That, however, was a lie.

Ever since Bellamy had promised to stay with her, he’d never let her down. He’d stuck by her side, and had loved her completely. 

The two had spent a lot of time outside of London. There were so many places Clarke had always wanted to see, and Bellamy had been more than happy to take her. They always came back home in between journeys, Griffin Manor was his home now as much as hers.

Amongst all their happiness, there had of course been difficulties. The scars Bellamy’s Father had left him with cut deep. No matter how comfortable Bellamy felt when he slept with Clarke, it could never completely keep his nightmares away. Clarke had insisted they speak with the best doctor money could buy; Bellamy had taken sleeping pills for a whole year to help him get his body and mind used to sleeping soundly.

What was most important for him was talking. Clarke realised Bellamy had kept his trauma buried deep inside him for years, not even fully admitting it to himself. Bellamy told Clarke everything, and she listened patiently. It was hard for him, but it helped.He shared his whole childhood with her, and it brought them closer together. 

One year ago, he’d decided he wanted children.

Clarke had been ecstatic. She had hoped he would change his mind, but she had never tried to force his hand. His love was more than enough for her. But she couldn’t deny she was happy he felt ready to expand their family.

Of course, just because they were finally ready for children, didn’t mean they’d be blessed overnight. They’ve been trying for a while, but they had refused to let it occupy all their thoughts.

Still, it was nice to know that if the time ever came, they’d both be ready.

“What are you thinking about?.” Her husband whispers into her ear. Whilst she’d been thinking, he’d snuck up behind her, and was now wrapping his arms around her waist. 

“Just how happy I am.”

“Even though we’re back in dreary London?.”

“I like London.”

“As do I.”

“Really?.” She questions, turning around in his arms so that they’re face to face.

“Yes.” He grins, dropping a kiss on her nose “I used to hate it, but you’ve made it my home.”

“I’m glad.” She whispers, lightly kissing his lips.  
“Although I must say, I’m surprised by what you told Wells.”

“What did I tell Wells?.”

“You said we’d be here for the foreseeable future. And here I was thinking you’d be taking me to the south of France next month. Have you forgotten your promise?.”

“I didn’t think you’d want to go to abroad again so soon.” 

She cocks her head “Why not?.”

“Clarke.” He laughs “You realise I’m not completely oblivious right?.”

“Well apparently I am, what exactly are you referring to?.”

“Clarke we share a bed. You’re three weeks late. I understand you might’ve wanted to wait a while to be certain before telling me, but it was pretty easy to figure it out.”

Late? Clarke thinks, confused for a brief moment.

Oh, she realises... that kind of late.

“Am I... pregnant?.” She whispers.

Bellamy laughs wholeheartedly at this “Are you telling me you didn’t know?.”

“Well we’ve been busy!.” She says defensively.

“You’re not actually angry that I figured it out before you?.”

“No.” She pouts, even though she actually was. She’d fantasied about how she would tell Bellamy if she ever became pregnant. This was nothing like not what she’d expected.

“Clarke.” He smiles at her softly, looking deep into her eyes. Four years and she still blushes like a school girl when he looks at her. His eyes were full of adoration, and it made her melt into him. “You’re pregnant.”

She places a hand gently on her stomach. He was right; she wasn’t just late, she’d felt nauseas and had been experiencing odd mood swings lately. She’d not paid attention to the signs, she’d been so wrapped up in Bellamy and their travels that she’d not noticed. Yet he was so wrapped up in her, that he’d realised it before her. 

No wonder she was so in love with him. 

“I’m pregnant.” She whispers, full of disbelief.

As they stand together, wrapped up in one another, she hears the sounds of her Mother and sister returning.

He kisses her forehead and grins “Want to tell your family the good news?.”

“Not right this minute. First, I want you to kiss me.” She demands, unable to rid the wide smile off her face.

“Whatever you want, Princess.”

-

Grosvenor Square, 1818.

-The Times Newspaper-

The Duke and Duchess of Hastings, Bellamy and Clarke Blake are pleased to announce the birth of their daughter.

Athena Abigail Blake was born August 15th, at 5.10am, weighing 7 1/2 ib.

The child was born in Griffin Manor; both parents say their beautiful baby girl is a blessing for them both.

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder: Your trauma is valid, and there is no shame in seeking prescribed medication and therapy.
> 
> -  
> If you liked this fic, check out the rest on my account. I write for Bellarke, Shirbert, and Spencer Reid.
> 
> Comments and Kudos are always appreciated.
> 
> Come say hi to me on [Tumblr](https://turquoisetopazz.tumblr.com)  
> Or say hi to me on Twitter = @turquoisetopazz !!!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Comments and Kudos are always appreciated.
> 
> Come say hi to me on [Tumblr](https://turquoisetopazz.tumblr.com)  
> 


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